she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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