well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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