So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
