yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
