Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
