if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
