The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
