whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
