we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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