guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
