You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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