Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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