Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
