I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
