I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
