Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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