she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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