But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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