Banned from zoo.
Again?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
