He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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