Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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