I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
