I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize