Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Please don't give away my fajitas
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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