my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
