ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
