wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I need water and some morals
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
