so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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