I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
