So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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