That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize