I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
