I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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