So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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