I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he thought i was a dude.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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