you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
