I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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