her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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