Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
