So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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