Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
