My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
