I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
