You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
