She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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