I think i peed on brittanys purse
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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