Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't put those talents on a resume
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
