i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
