Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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