Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
