Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
