ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize