We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
