i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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