Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
