Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
