I just pynch a tree in the face
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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