I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Randomize
