As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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