Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
