do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
