I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
