he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
