what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've blown a few things in my day
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
