Your dad touched me again.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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